BlAh

yup.

fail.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALLA GOOD NI.. wait..

Homecoming 2010 :D

:)

Had the greatest night last night. I went to my first ACTUAL dance with an ACTUAL date. :D It was fun.. though I starved =P Ernie actually got me to dance.. for a bit. xD

It was fun up until i looked at the clock and noticed that it was 11:07.. time flies when you're having fun...

MY DRESS... oh god.. it was way too loose =P i kept having to pull it up xD

Oh Ernie. He was a great date. :) A real gentleman. He got along well with my friends. :)

LOL I kept getting dirty looks from girls all night... ~_~ hahaha!

it was a goooood night =)

-Those nights are rare for me..

-Jess.

:D

I... have a plan...

one of those days...

Welp, I pretty much had the worst day of my life today, and... I kinda don't want to talk about it...

-FML

-Jess.

*cough*

MY VOICE! it has left me... ~_~. We (being the choir department of Bellflower High) had a show last night! It was fun, but we hardly had enough time to rehearse due to Candlelight auditions... WHICH WE MADE btw.. We got our music today and it is ridiculous! Why must i be a soprano...? The music is so Disney though =P OHH EMM GEE i have to get a work permit! I'M GOING TO WORK FOR DISNEY... for one day... BUT STILL!! =D I'm excited... just a little... you know... :)

Fun night last night. My family came, (including Ernie and Andrew) they were very supportive. :) MmmmmMmMmmm dinner was good too. :)

- good food + people I love = a good night :)

-Jess.

I need to invent a new word.

Love, admire, cherish, adore, choose, fancy, prize, cherish.

Care for.. go for.. crazy for.. hold dear.. think the world of..

none of them seem to completely capture the meaning of my feelings...

-i need a new word.

-jess.

It's HOT

end of story.

.

.

nahhhh just kidddinnggggg x)

but really though.. it is soooo hot. It's almost 7PM and its still 97'. BLEH! I don't like the heat, I much rather prefer the cold and wet days of winter. :)

OOOhhhhHH which reminds me i saw this AWESOME coat that i think im going to get!! (pronounced 'gEt' not 'gIt' thnkuverymuch)

SUBJECT CHANGE!

my throat hurts

SUBJECT CHANGE!

i kinda feel a little depressed..

buhh yah thats kind of normal for me..

SUBJECT CHANGE!

i bought pastels!!!

hmm...

i should go.

- It's Hot. I need a life..

-jess.

iPad

ELLO

ihAvENTbEEnBloGgINglATelY.

SoRRybouTThaT.

nOTlIKEAnyoNEreADSiTANywaY.

welLIstARteDScHOol.

iGoTAParTinMYscHOOlSuPCOMinGpROdUcTioNoFMURDERINTHEHEIR.

AnDIVebeENrEcrUitEdiNTOthEfuSIonbaND.

iVeAlsoBEenHangiNGouTwiTHmahFRieNds.

NoRMAlStuff...

imGoinGTobEmYsIStERsMAidOFHonoR WhoooT!

AndIMgOINgTObeAnAuntie. :)

sooOoOooooOOoOoOOoOoOooOOoOooOoOoOOoOooOOOOoOOoo

yah...

- Welcome to my life.

- jess.

'THOSE' Days

Today is just one of THOSE days. One of those days where you're stuck at home with nothing to do but watch old episodes of Whale Wars and write boring blogs. I hate days like these. There is only one thing standing in the way of a day like this and an actual GOOD day, and that 'thing' is parents.

Today, I was supposed to go to the beach with my friend Ernie, his friend Jacob, and Jacob's family. My mum said I could go if there were parents there... but I found earlier that Jacob's family couldn't go. So now. Here I am. Writing this blog. Stuck at home. Bored. I understand my parents concern, but I know right from wrong. It's not like I'm some naive eleven year-old girl going out with some people I barely know. I mean... I've known Ern most of my life. I trust him with my life, and I know he would never put me in a dangerous or sketchy situation. My parents just don't realize that.

-i hope a GOOD day comes soon.

-jess.

^-^

mmm

fun day at Soak City ^-^

nuf said

brb Vacation Timmmeee

SAN FRANSISCO HERE I COMEE!!

Movies, Friends, Piano, and some other random shiz

OH EM GEE
Okay, I stayed the night at my May's casa on Friday night with Lilian. FRIGIN' EPIC! First of all me and May played and awesome piano duet. Then, we made mini french toast!!!

"Mini?"

Yes, mini. See... we didn't have any normal bread.. soo we cut up some of this other bread and they were MINI!! And delicious if I do say so myself. :) We had some left over egg so we cooked it and it was really good and sweet from the vanilla extract. OH YAH! I got Lilian to drink some of the Vanilla Extract!!! ROFL! After we finished cooking we went into the living room to watch scarryyy moviiesss. LOL, thanks to Lilian for almost killing mee!! Goodness. Most terrifying moment of my life.

"What happened?"

Well, I was just about to drink my apple juice when Lilian started having one of her quite frequent laugh attacks which are contagious. My apple juice went into my wind pipe and i could not breathe, i kept coughing and shizz. May thought I was gonna throw up. I thought I was going to die, I was praying "Please Lord. Please forgive me." I finally caught my breath and May was like "wanna drink??" i was like "PSHH HELL NO IT TRIED TO KILL ME!!" Then we ate. Yumm. We watched The Undead, The Collector, and Cloverfield. Yes, we like scary movies! (poor RJ, May's BF, he's terrified of them =P) Our 'happy' movies were She's Out of My League, and Phantom of the Opera =P. May fell asleep around three ishh, Lilian fell asleep like a half-hour before me which was like 6 am.
The next day.. or same day.. or GAHH you know what I mean, We made pancakes and eggs and watched The Collector again which was still really scary even in the morning. We went with our mum (well May's mum but shes practically mine and Lily's too) shopping and when we went to Walmart some worker asked her If she wanted to get a Walmart card or whatever to buy school supplies for 'Her Girls' and she responded "Yes there mine. They all have different fathers." in her Fob accent and we all started cracking up. Oh My Gawd Greatest moment ever with mah mum. Me and May bought matching dresses in different colors and Lily's gonna go get one ANDDD we all wear the same size!! So we're planning to wear them on the first day of school and we're gonna switch them throughout the day to freak people out =D YAY! ^-^

Gah.. I'm getting lazy with piano... ~_~ I just don't have the drive that I had before... it better come back -__-

My Cousin is embarrassing. 'nough said.

VBS TOMORROW!!! YEEEAAAAAAAAAA!! ... i mean... yah... I'm kinda excited.. you know..

I'm bored... ima put my favorite stufff causee i have no life.. don't judge.

Color: Blue
Number: 2
Month: February
Movie: Serendipity
Instrument: Piano
Flower: Dark Red Rose
Song: World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
'Girl' Friend: Christene May Faderan
'Boy' Friend: Ernie Macias
Holiday: 4th Of July (I'm a Pyromaniac...)
Thing to do: Draw or Fall asleep playing piano

RnDOm fACtS:
-I can never spell February right... (i had to use spell check)
-I am a huge procrastinator
-I hated reading till just recently
-I eat like a pig.
-I am a hopeless romantic
-My friends swear im going to marry an asian guy.
-I've been drinking coffee since i was 3 (thanks Opa ^-^)
-I have a 4.0 GPA
-I hate going to sleep, unless im extremely tired.
-I have terrible memory
-Ive been singing since 4th grade.
-I believe in true love.
-i own 1 piano, 1 keyboard, 1 violin, 1 flute, 1 recorder, and 2 guitars.
-I should be cleaning right nao.
-I want to travel the world.
-my back hurts ~_~
-I LOVE THE RAIN! ^-^

gahh im bored again...
and i have a headache...
hmmm
GOOOOOOOOODNIGHTTTTTTISHHHHHHH

-"THIS MOVIE HAS THE WORST FRIGGIN ENDING. WTF?!"
-jess.

O_O

Woahhhh... this is the longest iv'e gone without blogging.

-i need inspiration.
-jess.

yah.. i have no life. =P

Someone I know once said...
"Times will never be as good as they were."

What kind of thinking is that?
If things are never going to be as good as they were, then what's the point of living?

Don't we continue to live in hopes that things will always get better?

You must always look toward the horizon in hopes of something better.

The grand essentials of happiness are:
-Something to do.
-Something to Love.
and
-Something to hope for.

-iono im bored
-jess

Inspriation ? ?

The words 'I love you' can mean so many different things:

'I miss you'
'I need you'
'I want to spend the rest of my life with you'

But showing them that you love them is different.
Whether it's remembering something important to them,
Protecting them from harm,
Or just being a shoulder to cry on...

You must show them you love them...
If you can't show them, then the words are meaningless.

*7/19/10 9:08 pm*

-i miss you; be careful.
-jess

=)

Welp,
I had the best day ever yesterday.
- ^-^
-Jess

Love. What is it?

I believe...

It is a Longing.
You pine to be with them every waking moment.
It's wanting to say so much...
But once you see them
You're speechless.
When you look them in the eyes
You forget everything
And all you see
Is them.

It is Inspiration.
The fuel one needs to create something beautiful
Is concealed within their every touch.
Every feature,
Every flaw they see in themselves
Is perfect to you.

It is caring.
When they sob,
You cry.
When they hurt,
You hurt ten times worse.
You laugh together
But then, when your eyes meet,
You just smile.

It is a Secret.
You secretly wish they would never leave
But at the same time
Know they would never go.
You can give
Or you can receive
But it is fragile
So please...
Handle with care.
**completed at 11:11 PM .no lie. 7/13/10**

-See what happens to me when I'm bored!!
-Jess

God's Plans, Books, and Boredom

Well,
Today didn't go as I had hoped it would, but hey, I figure God has a plan.

I got a new book!! It's called The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf and it is sooo good so far! You know... I never really liked to read until just recently. I have so far read the novel The Time Travelers Wife and that had a really good story to it. The book I keep searching for is Gathering Blue. I think I should go to Borders or Barnes & Nobles soon... hmm.

Well I have work tomorrow. -_- I have to get used to not having as much down time... hmm.

Welp... it's 7:55 and I have to be off in 5 minutes and I'm lonely so I think I'm going to play piano for a bit.

-huh?
-jess

Games n' Games... among other things...

Well...
I finally finished my umm 1..2..5... 21st Nancy Drew!!
Now I admit that I did not complete ALL of them... I believe I have only finished 19 of them. That's only because the first one (Secrets Can Kill) didn't work on my computer! Now for the other one, #20 Ransom of the Seven Ships, I just got lazy... which i completely regret. =( I think i will start anew on that one and complete it. *nods head* Yah. I will. Now as for #22 Trail of the Twister... I'll have to wait. "RESIST THE TEMPTATION JESS!! YOU CAN DO IT!!" "I know... I know... mysterious voice inside my head..."

I'm not crazy. I promise.

Hmm...
I think I might be getting addicted to this game my friend Ernie introduced me to... Thanks a lot Ern! -_- lol

I bought a CRAP LOAD of sheet music today. ~_~ I can't resist it. It's so old... and damaged... It's sooo BEAUTIFUL!! ^-^ I have no clue where I'm going to put it all. My piano bench is already fullllll of old music that I can't (or haven't even tried to) play. I'm getting better at sight reading though!!! yay!

My tummy feels weird... I can't resist buying Corn on a Stick from the little vendor guy that is in my aunt's neighborhood! Yummm.

-Here's to the future, cause I'm done with the past.
-Jess

Layne

i like my middle name.
my name looks incomplete without it.
Jessica Torres <--- incomplete
Jessica Layne Torres <---- COMPLETE
iono
i know im weird... dont judge me

ANYWAYYYs

you must be asking yourself...

"How did you get on this subject!?"

well dear reader... its quite a long story...

ANDD i dont feel like writing it all.

SEE YUHH **PEACE**
^-^
-i like muffins
-Jess

i wrote this a long time ago... probably in... uhh... December? or early January?

its not really a poem... just emotions in words.

Okay, do you want to know what I really am looking for?

A guy how loves me for who I am..

Who will pick me up when I fall..

Who can make me smile when I cry..

Who will always be there for me

Whether I have a bad dream

or broken arm..

A guy who will believe in me

When i fail to believe in myself..

Who will always surprise me..

Care for me..

And Love me..

That's what I'm really looking for..

Yah, this conversation didn't really end on a good note.

-Thanks a lot peter. If it weren't for you.. i wouldn't have felt so... emotionally compelled to write this. -_-

-Jess.

Water, Work, n' Stuff

Last night was epic!

I had went to Fusion's Water Wars last night! It was pretty darn amazing, although I didn't get as wet as I thought I would, it was awesome! Ernie got me with two water balloons as soon as I got there, but i soon got him back.. sorta.. stupid water balloon. Thanks to Ian for trying to help me get him back. Anyways, we had tons of fun playing kick ball and other stuff. It was freeeeezzzing afterward though. x_x I cannot play piano when it's that cold.
-_-

Work is really fun!

I started work yesterday at my church's daycamp and was supposed to work with 2nd grade, but, due to unexpected circumstances, I am now working with 4th grade. I'm fine with it though. It's only been two days and already a few of the little girls have become attached to me. We spent today playing dodgeball, and making candles, bracelets and other crafts. Little kids that age are so funny. I showed them my sketchbook and they were amazed, and when we painted our statue of liberty crowns they watched me intently as I manuvered the brush across the paper plate. Children are a wonder.
I work Monday-Thursday 8:30-1, Fridays 11:30-3, and Field Trip days 8:30-3. Fridays are water days! ^-^ Last year was SO FUN! Also, on wednesdays we go on field trips to various places. The 14th we're going to Paramount Iceland... hmm... I haven't iceskated in a while... I should go this weekend so I dont fall on my face in front of the kids. =P The 21st we're going on a Harbor Cruise and the 29th we're going to the Orange County Fair! I think I get paid the... 16th and 30th? I'm not sure... but YAY! I GET PAID!
I'm also working VBS which is the first week of August, but this time its with kindergarden. It should be much more relaxed.

hmm... I'm tired. I woke up at 2am for some reason this morning and then didn't fall asleep for like an hour. T_T

-I want to do something this weekend.
-Jess.

Weddings LOL

First of all.
I hate heels.

Okay, cutest wedding I have ever had the honor of being a part of!
Beautiful Dresses + Beautiful Bride + Beautiful Flowers = Amazing Wedding
I was the OFFICIAL bow tier/babysitter of the day. Mainly because I had the most patience out of everyone.

The Wedding

I actually managed to walk down the isle in 3 inch heels without falling on my face! It was the standing though the ceremony that killed my feet. V_V

We were about halfway through the ceremony when it was time for the 'exchange of rings' and Amy (the bride) turned to us and whispered, "We forgot the ring!"

The look on her face was priceless!!!

Thank God the ring was in the bride room (just down the isle), imagine if we had forgotten it at her house!!

Anyway, this 'little' mishap eased the tension in the room as everyone let out a little laugh as Heidi (the maid of honor/sister of the bride) ran back down the isle to grab the ring. The ceremony continued as normal and before I knew it the pastor said, "I am pleased to present to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Jared Ostermann!" Suprisingly i did not cry, i felt like it, but.. i was too happy for Amy! As we walked back down the isle, thank God for Rob, i did not fall. Im so excited for Amy. She found her 'True Love' FINALLY!! She was always so worried that she would be 30 and not married and that there was no one out there for her. But now, the year she turned 30, she found the love of her life! She had to trust the Lord so much during this time, from Matt (jerk.) to Jared (aww ^-^). I am so so sooo happy for her! She will always be my favorite cousin.

The Reception

The reception lasted until midnight. Yah... i didnt stay that long =P I stayed until 11 or so. It was pretty cool. We hung out in the bride room for a while until it was time to be announced. Once it was time, we walked down this realllllly narrow hallway to the top of the Grand Staircase and waited to be called. Thank you Jesus for men, if I didnt walk down with one of the guys I would have ate it. lol. Anyways we all came down and stood waiting as Jared and Amy had their first dance. Then it was time for toasts. Heidi almost made me cry. My feet were killing me by this time. ~_~ Then we ate blahh blahh blahhh...

The money dance was fun! I got to dance with Jared (who is like 6 foot 7inches tall lol). I gave him a little speech i kinda went like this... "If you break her heart, I break your face." lol but i love him, he's an amazing guy. Then the DJ put on music and people started dancing. I Don't Dance. So, i was the 'Weird little emotional girl sitting on the stairs drawing' according to Andrew. I'm not emotional, I just... I dont know... I like to do what i like to do. There was a BEAUTIFUL piano in the other room, but sadly it was off limits. =(

Overall, it was an AMAZING day.

-Love is patient.

-Jess

FML

SO YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP ME CAPTIVE HERE ALL DAY JUST BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW WHEN THEY GET HERE?!?!!?

-FML.
-jess

Places I've Been

I finally got my new graphite! Now i have to save up for pastels!! Then my life will be .. almost complete =P

New York

**Graphite & Charcoal**

I went to New York, when was it...? About two years ago in May.. i think. It was AMAZING. In my mind the clouds and rain made it all the more beautiful. I didn't actually get to go into the Empire State Building but HEY! I was there soo i was happy.

-rain = ^-^

-jessica

More Drawings Enjoyy

'We appreciate Light because we have been in Darkness."

Domo-Kun!

My First Eye

make of it what you will...

^-^ i like this one!

Incomplete

Farewell Seniors!

hmm... doesnt really feel like summer yet...

Last night's graduation was very emotional for me =(

Im going to miss all of my seniors so much, BUT i know they will go on to do great things!

I actually counted! I have 42 senior friends ~_~

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

Oh Rebecca!!!

Why do you have to move!!

How am I supposed to live without my sister banshee!!?

I know you will do great things though ^-^

xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Patipat!!

how did i only come to meet you THIS year!??

I wish i could have had more time with you!!

YOUUU always find a way to make me cryy!! =P

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hector... there are no words to describe what you mean to me...

You have helped me through soo much... from the time I stabbed myself with that safety pin...

To praying for my anxiety...

You have been like a big brother to me. I love you!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxooxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

Easter Grace Gallimba!!

ohh mahh gooodnesss!!

I love youuuu!!

You have an amazing personality!!

On top of that... you are an amazing actress... you have an astonishing voice...

AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxooxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxo

Marwell... **tsk tsk**

I hate you...

justt kiddddingg ^-^

I love you!

I am still envious of your amazing piano skills though!

AND we still need to do a duet on piano!

I still remember the day i met you ^-^

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoooxxooxoxooxxoxooxooxxxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Christopher Hill... mhhmm thats right...

We STILL need to climb that tree!!

xoxoxxoxooxxooxoxoxxooxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Cameron... ive known you for how long??... danggggg

I know you'll go on to do great things ^-^

xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

And alllllllllllll of my other seniors!!

I Lovvvveee youuuuu alllll!!!

COME VISIT!!!

^-^

i dont know.

yah.. i wrote this a while ago. very tough time for me.. ENJOI!! ^-^

i dont know.

i dont know what he means,

i dont know what to say.

should i stay and take this,

or should i walk away?

i dont know why i do this,

i dont know why i try.

am i fighting for a one-sided friendship?

what happened to him and i?

i dont know what to do,

i dont know if he cares,

i guess for now ill just wait and see

while my heart, inside me, tears.

i know i could,

i know i can be.

his name i wrote in the sand

and was washed away by the sea

i still dont know what he means.

i still dont know what to say,

but ive made my choice,

im going to walk away.

he may choose to follow

but i will not turn his way.

i need to find THE one that will cherish my heart

for forever and a day.

for: peter

Brought to you by: The Yummmmay Muffin Productions™

My Drawings

I, for the most part, draw with graphite ... hmm... I need to buy a new set...

ANYWAYZZ.. hope you enjoy them! Commmenttttt Pweeezzzeee!!! ^-^

help...







goodnight

idk...

"act well your part, there all the honor lies" Thespian Troupe 1442

12:13 AM 5/21/10

midterm boredom

my inspiration

a terrible paradise

international day 10' boredom

more to come!

d(^-^)b

i have no clue...

why?
why do i always want to talk to him?
why do i feel so alone when i cant?
why do i break the rules for him?
why must my parents get mad?
why is it i can see the good in it and they cant?
why dont they remember?
why dont they understand?
why cant they recall the way they felt when they thought they found "love"?
why are they blind?
why have they forgotten?
why do they longer believe in that thing, that feeling that they once had?
why do they say there is no such thing as "true love" at this age?
why do they tell us to persue our dreams?
why do they crush them?
why do they think they see everything while they are so blinded?
why when we try to teach them we get scolded?
why dont they listen?
why do they think that they are all we need?
why do they try to blind us with their ways?
why cant we just be who we want to be?
why cant we be loved by who we want to be loved by?
why do they try to protect us when we must be hurt to grow?
why do they say to wait when u never know when our time is up?
why did they once believe in us?
why dont they now?
why do they take away the things we hold dear to us things we cannot live without?
why do they yell at us then expect us to be fine in the morning?
why when we cry do they make us feel worse?
why when we are ourselves to they not approve?
why then are they telling us to be ourselves?
why do they scold us for getting a "b" in a subject they dont even remember themselves?
why do they expect so much out of us?
why cant they let us make mistakes of our own?
why to they think we can learn from theirs?
why do they think they know what were going through?
why dont they let us love?
why when we think weve found "love" to they scold us for breaking the rules?
why dont they see that we do this because we love the person?
why cant they see that we need love?
why cant they remember they were just like us once?
why do they think that keeping us away from the person we love will teach us a lesson?
why do they wonder why we dont want to talk to them after they do this?
why dont they remember?
why are they blind?
why cant they see?
we just want to be free...

**not for or about anyone inparticular**